“One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them….”
The more I think about Rachel’s post from the other day, the more I think of how totally appropriate and brilliant it was. What did you think that Obama “O” logo was all about, anyway—if not the sign of the Ringwraith Master? How else to explain the insanity of Obamamania? One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness, bind them…
I disagree significantly with Rachel’s casting, though….Sauron is not the MSM….perhaps Sauron is Soros? The MSM are the Orcs, clearly. Clearly. There can be no argument here. They have nothing going on in their own lives, except the mindless furthering of their master’s machinations. And they will eat each other, or any other living creature, too.
Charlie Gibson is a Battle Troll—a mindless creature given great destructive power for no apparent reason. Katie Couric is the similarly mindless Shelob. More casting calls as I have time. Great, great analogy though–the presidential campaign of 2008 and LOTR. Brilliant. The NYT represents the Nazgul.
So, as I was driving home from New Haven yesterday afternoon, driving in to the worst sun glare I’ve ever seen in my life—sun glare like The Eye of Sauron, which was causing massive congestion on I-95 AND the Merrit Parkway….
….and I was listening to traffic reports on the radio interspersed with endless reports of Colin Powell [isn't he Denethor, First Steward of Gondor in our little analogy???] endorsing The One, and I was thinking to myself, what a politically gutless little swine he is. Too strong, you say? Kiss off. He could have thrown his hat into the ring a long time ago, but he lacked the gonads.
What courage, General, to endorse The One when all the polls show him winning anyway. As someone else said, agent of change? No guilt at throwing all those stodgy white guys under the bus….the ones that pushed you up for a 4-Star Generalship, National Security Advisor, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Secretary of State. Yeah, where were all those Democrats who were promoting that kind of “generational change” that you now crave, back then? You big phony. And you’re a sissy, too, because if you had real political stones, you’d have come out earlier, rather than waiting to see who you think would win. Disappointing, but not altogether unexpected.
Speaking of Colin Powell/Denethor, The Concerned Jewish Ladies of The Main Line are back at it again, calling and emailing me to let me know that General Powell has thrown himself on the funeral pyre, and that I really should save myself. So are some of my WASP country club friends. And let’s not even talk about my rock’n'roll buddies, who went into the tank two years ago. My over-educated, underemployed friends. Those darn rings again.
The Rings of Power explain it all, the fanatical support that various tribes have for their own enslavement. Just like LOTR. The fact that they’re all calling me, however, shows that they know this thing isn’t in the bag yet in Pennsylvania….which makes me happy. Oh, and The Daily Kos is Gollum….“We wantssss the Preciousssss……’
I still think that there is no question that Sarah Palin is Eowyn in this political adaptation of LOTR, but I don’t have time, or the memory, to go back and put faces on all the other characters. Is Joe the Plumber “Treebeard?” Wouldn’t that be wonderful…..
Open casting call: feel free to participate with comments, if so desired. This is not our day to die.
UPDATE: Mixing ring movies here, I know, but I still think we can fight back against the O….
UPDATE: Byron York on the “Army of Joes” facing off with the MSM Orcs….this is not our day to die.
RETRODATE: Iowahawk anticipates Joe the Plumber visiting the liberal Whack-a-Wolf….Naomi…four years ago.
What a prescient mind he has.
In the early summer of 2002, feminist Naomi Wolf did something banal, human, and destructive: she put her unwanted gaze on the unprotected asscrack of an unsuspecting plumber —a plumber who was tasked with replacing the In-Sink-Erator model 17 3/4 HP batch feed disposal in her well appointed Manhattan kitchen.
The plumber was me, a 34-year-old journeyman with G&G Plumbing Specialist in Long Island City, Queens. Here is why I am telling this story now: I began, nearly a year ago, to try—privately—to start a conversation with my union, that would reassure me that steps had been taken to ensure that another union brother would not fall victim to this repulsive woman’s unwanted ocular sexual advances. I expected her apartment Co-op board to be responsive. After nine months and many calls and e-mails, I was shocked to conclude that the atmosphere of feminist collusion that had helped to keep me quiet two years ago was still intact—and as quiet as a Crane Cranada Silent Flush commode.
UPDATE: Dr. Melissa has topless Sarah and bottomless Joe pictures…
UPDATE: Thanks to Dr. Sanity for inclusion in this week’s Carnival of the Insanities…
Patterico’s Pontifications » Obama, the Election, and the Lord of the Rings:
[...] a clever post, Driver at Amused Cynic sees parallels between Obama, this election, and the Lord of the Rings but she needs help casting [...]
22 October 2008, 12:27 amBugz:
As a life long student of Tolkien’s works, I disagree with your casting choices.
Obama is blindingly obvious as Sauron, in that he is the one who is endlessly seeking the Ring of Power (the office of the Presidency). Gandalf: “Sauron needs only this Ring to cover all the lands with a second darkness. (Control of the Presidency and both houses of Congress by Democrats?) He is seeking it, seeking it, all his thought is bent on it.”
But Sauron was not evil to begin with, but became corrupted by the Great Enemy, Morgoth (Socialism/Communism?), and subsequently became his follower. When Morgoth was overthrown (fall of Communism?), Sauron went into hiding, and later reappeared to Men and Elves, and tempted them with Rings of Power, by which he ensnared them (’tax cuts’ for people who don’t even pay taxes?). Afterwards he was known among the Elves as “Sauron the Deceiver.
So who are Frodo and Sam? I would contend that John McCain is Frodo, and Sarah Palin is Sam. Frodo does not seek to use the Ring to dominate others (impose a trillion dollars of new spending on taxpayers through new programs, taxing plumbers to ’share the wealth’), and Sam thinks of nothing but ‘doing for Mr Frodo’.
Colin Powell cannot be Denethor, but who better fits the description of Saruman? “You did not seriously think that a hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron, there are none that can.” “Against the power of Mordor there can be no victory.
” “The power of Isengard is at your command, Sauron, Lord of the Earth” (Powell declares support for Obama).
Saruman: “We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.”
Gandalf: “Tell me, “friend”, when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?”
Later in Rivendell, there is this exchange:
Elrond(Rove?): Gandalf, the enemy is moving. Sauron’s forces are massing in the east, his eye is fixed on Rivendell(Washington DC?). And Saruman (Powell?), you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows thin.
Gandalf(Newt?): His treachery runs deeper than you know.
Grima Wormtongue? Lots’s of candidates there (Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Franks, et al) Like The Road, the list goes on and on. Take your pick…
Anyway, that’s my far from complete take on the matter. I will follow this topic with interest. I hope you have many contributors to the discussion.
22 October 2008, 5:28 pmdriver:
oooh….this is great stuff. Must ponder, but will be taking a break from the destruction of the West to watch the Phillies tonight. Back soon. We agree at least, I hope, that the MSM are the Orcs? And how about the Ents as the Great Silent Majority (aka the Bitter Clingers) who can turn things around on them?
22 October 2008, 5:50 pmBugz:
I think folks like Code Pink, Kos, and the denizens of the Democratic Underground best fit the role of the orcs. Mindless mobs of hate who do only the bidding of Sauron, although they are not above fighting amongst themselves (witness the Wrath of Kos over Lieberman, who not only strayed from the teachings of Morgoth, but who also now refuses to submit to will of The Great Eye.)
And that reminds me, perhaps Denethor is best represented by Andrew Sullivan, in that although he once supported conservative issues, too closely did he study the arts of the enemy, and thus subsequently lost his freakin’ mind.
22 October 2008, 6:09 pmdriver:
I dunno….that Code Pink woman who tried to handcuff Karl Rove (I mean, Elrond) the other day was a pretty lame Orc, if you ask me.
22 October 2008, 6:15 pmBugz:
Yes, well if Rove is Elrond, as I alluded to above, what chance would a single lowly orc have against him? Elrond stood with Gil Galad and Elendil on the slopes of Mount Doom at the end of the Second Age during the Siege of Baradur, the Dark Tower, when the Ring was cut from the hand of Sauron by Isildur Elendil’s son. He faced 10s of thousands of orcs that day, and lived to tell of it.
A single orc against Elrond would have just about as much luck as that code pink dimwit had in actually effecting an arrest against Rove. => Zip!
22 October 2008, 7:12 pmdriver:
OK, all right, you make an excellent point. I have to go watch the World Series now, but will have this on my mind the whole time. I love the image of Rove in an Elven invisibility cloak, shooting arrows at Code Pinkers.
22 October 2008, 8:33 pmnobody:
Well I think it’s obvious that
14 November 2008, 5:22 amObama is Frodo: Unlikely hero. Like Frodo, he is quite the poet. Like Frodo, he is mixed (Frodo wasn’t entirely hobbit remember, he had a little elvish/faerie blood somewhere). Even the wisest like Gandalf decided to place a bet on an unknown, untried, untested, unexperienced hobbit like Frodo to save Middle-Earth from the greatest peril of all time…
Sam is Biden: Straight-talking, shoot from the mouth Sam and Biden are surely one. Sam says the wrong things at the wrong times sometimes, but he’s a very smart shrewd hobbit. He’s Samwise, of course! He has quite a temper, going into rants in righteous indignation. Just like Biden. Not to mention, Sam’s uncle The Gaffer alludes to Biden’s silly verbal gaffes.
McCain is of course Boromir! Valiant, battle-tested war hero. Thinks he knows better than naive hobbits. Valiant, very valiant but does not have the consistency to be the Ringbearer.